Sex SMS

@ What's the geographical definition of sex? It's an action done by Poland into Holland between Thailand, occasionally with a little help from Greece.

@ A baby boy and a baby girl in a bath tub having a bath.
Girl looks down at the boy and says, can I touch it?
Boy: no way..! You have already broken yours.

@ After the postmortem doctor came home and said to his wife: today is an important day in my life. I saw an 18 inch penis.
Wife: what Joseph is died?

@ Eight years old son: dad what is sex?
Dad gets tensed but explains everything to him.
kid: but dads how do I write all that's in this small box of school admission form.

@ For years he thought he was good at sex, but then he found his wide had asthma.

@ No matter how much you press it, shake it, rotate it, slap it, strangle it and pull it, the last drop of urine will always fall in your underwear.

@ Rape is not a crime; it's just a surprise sex.

@Teacher: name some films that have almost same stories?
Student: blue film.

@ A TV was interviewing a girl.
Interviewer: what's the first thing you do after getting up in the morning?
Girl: I get up and go home.

@ The history sir was on leave, so the science sir was asked to prepare the exam paper.
1st question: describe first Rani with a neat diagram and label her parts.

@ Behind every successful man there is a woman but behind every satisfied woman there is a tired man.

@ You can convert gents' into ladies or ladies into gents, just by cutting or inserting a rod in a bicycle.

@ Every week, an army man loving wife sent him a photo of her wide open legs in different styles with a note: this is how I will stay till you return, waiting for you. After a long time: he wrote back: who's the fuck is taking the photographs?

@ Height of insult: a guy in a romantic mood to his girlfriend, I want to be a part of your body.
Girlfriend: no thanks, I already have an asshole.

@ Best t-shirt quotes on 12 years old girl: oo coming soon.

@ When two couples come face to face, wife's look at each other's sarees and husband look at each other's wives.

@ Economics teacher: Give an example of complete business failure due to carelessness.
Student: A pregnant prostitute.

@ What's height bad luck? Having sex in dreams and getting AIDS in real life.

@ Boy: mom, why I am black and you're white?
Mom: listen son considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking.

@ Children in the dark make mistakes. Mistakes in the dark make children.

@ A man sad story: last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me, my kids dint. I went for work, my friends dint. I entered my cabin. My P.A said happy birthday boss. I felt special. She asked me for lunch. After lunch she invited me to her apartment. There she said do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a min? Ok I said nervously. She came out a few minutes later with large cake, followed by wife, kids and friends and I was waiting for her, sitting on the couch naked.

@ Shopkeeper: madam this panty and this bra will look nice on you.
Lady: how can you be so sure?
Shopkeeper: I have done diploma in interior design.

@ Girl: in a month all the days I can kiss you except that three days.
Boy: why? Girl: in that three days I will be very week so I can't hug and kiss you.
Boy: if you spend 5 minutes with me in bed room? I can postpone your periods to next 10 months.

@ 90 year man: my 18 year wife is pregnant, your opinion.
Doctor: I will tell a story, once a hunter in hurry took an umbrella instead of gun. He saw a lion and lifts the umbrella and pulls the handle the lion dead.
Old man: that s impossible someone else must shot it.
Doctor: exactly, now you understand.

@ A boy went to his dad's friend home late night uncle offered him to sleep in baby's room boy refused due to baby crying nature and went to sleep in TV lounge next morning he saw a beautiful girl at the breakfast table.
Boy: who are you?
Girl: I am baby. You?
Boy: I am stupid.

@ A small boy brings his cat to school. Teacher asked why? Little boy tearfully replies. I heard daddy telling mom, I am going to tear your pussy after the kids go to school.

@ Height of misunderstanding: power cut in ladies hostels. Warden called to Eb offices and said, please send your men urgently, here girls are using candles.